Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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