I need help removing her.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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