It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
