There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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