i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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