mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Say something about gay babies.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
