the day after is always just damage control
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize