I faked an abortion last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo