she was so not down for the gang bang
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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