Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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