textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
