Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.