I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
