Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.