Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.

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  (610): he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen. http://tfl.nu/e13s
  Replies (241) Good night (908) Bad night (3361)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived

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  (207): Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived http://tfl.nu/2pbp
  Replies (18) Good night (822) Bad night (7335)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering

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  (610): They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering http://tfl.nu/lidm
  Replies (9) Good night (3358) Bad night (958)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.

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  (440): im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology. http://tfl.nu/d4l9
  Replies (14) Good night (3094) Bad night (1490)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid

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  (620): Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid http://tfl.nu/4wb3
  Replies (16) Good night (2413) Bad night (939)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient

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  (479): Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient http://tfl.nu/pvik
  Replies (5) Good night (780) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.

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  (832): Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something. http://tfl.nu/xkf6
  Replies (5) Good night (2120) Bad night (611)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.

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  (817): Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry. http://tfl.nu/qgh9
  Replies (12) Good night (2172) Bad night (480)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex. 

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  (662): it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.  http://tfl.nu/s4m2
  Replies (8) Good night (1089) Bad night (900)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.

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  (585): He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going. http://tfl.nu/c63w
  Replies (7) Good night (1534) Bad night (360)
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  (408): View more from California

  Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.

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  (408): Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware. http://tfl.nu/gy46
  Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (818)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.

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  (801): That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels. http://tfl.nu/fhyu
  Replies (7) Good night (458) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.

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  (563): You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say. http://tfl.nu/uumg
  Replies (4) Good night (858) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.

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  (412): FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL. http://tfl.nu/yext
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...

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  (858): At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death... http://tfl.nu/rvkt
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (476)

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