I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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