rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
