He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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