why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
