the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
