I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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