He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
