woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Is Oprah even human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You were trust falling into bushes
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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