; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
