My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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