No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize