so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
