Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize