also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
