Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
