so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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