I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
one might say we're banned from that church
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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