oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
