Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I need a hoe opinion
go on
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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