I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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