hell yes lets make some ravioli
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
