So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
