Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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