yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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