2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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