gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
