i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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