you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
