i think my mom watched the whole time
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
