I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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