Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
