Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize