you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
