Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
