The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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