Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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