Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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