AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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