Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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