He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
