I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
