thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
