I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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