You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
