Betty ford says i'm here all night
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.