In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.