We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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