yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
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she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed