Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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