So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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