Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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