You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize