remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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