I want to walk on stilts...naked
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
