Whats the glycemic index on semen?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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