I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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