weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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